What it takes to be a hero
by Listelia
Summary: Fanfic based on awesome j-drama NANKYOKU TAIRIKU. If you don't know it yet and don't mind spoilers, go ahead, it's meant to be readable to anyone. If you hate spoilers and haven't yet watch episode 7, DON'T read it! Otherwise, it's all about the trials of 11 ordinary men surviving in Antarctica in 1957 and trying to tell the world "it's not over yet". Set right after Whale Hill..
1. Prologue

Station _Showa_, Antarctica, 1957.

Everybody in Japan had their eyes on the First Expedition Cross-Winter. In November 1956, eleven men from different backgrounds, had embarked aboard the ice-breaking ship _Soya_, taking with them the hopes of a country broken by World War II.

Loaded with the dreams of the children who, first of all, brought their contribution to the project, the unanimous feeling which embraced adults at the idea of finally being on an equal footing with the world, the ship went off, carried by the promise a young professor of geology made to a defeated and tired people : "on this continent yet unknown, I will plant the flag of Japan."

The passionnate face of Takeshi Kuramochi remained engraved in the hearts of all Japanese as the one of the man taking them onto this adventure…

The young professor's charisma, his passion for the unexplored continent of snow, his personal history bound inextricably to the project Antarctica, his love for the dogs he trained for this expedition, and his natural capacity to encourage and awaken spirits had fired up those who were leaving, like those who were waiting.

20 000 km away from Japan, Hoshino sighed. He was the official leader of the small group of men who voluntered themselves as guinea pigs to spend winter over in Antarctica, so that scientists could come later and live safely.

He rolled his pen between his fingers, then put it next to the notebook where he recorded all events.

In front of his desk, the world map was pined next to the Antarctica map on the walls of the narrow room. Between them both, were posted the identity pictures of the ten men for whom he was responsible, just above of the names of the nineteen Sakhalin huskies which accompagnied the expedition.

Kuramochi fixed the objective, his intelligent and attentive dark eyes, always brightened up by this spark of will and courage. It was him who had first believed Japan would not remain eternally a defeated country. He left behind his young sister-in-law Miyuki, an orphan primary school teacher, who adored him and for whom he had not really realized his own feelings.

Near him smiled Utsumi who had been a member of the same group of climbing as Kuramochi, years ago, and who was now the journalist asked to cover the expedition Cross-Winter, and one of the most fervent supporters of the project.

Then came Inuzuka, a student who had pretended to be a connoisseur in dogs specialized in auroras borealis and who had proved incompetent in both categories. Incompetent, but avid to learn, to evolve, to change. His admiration for Kuramochi, who had not judged him and on the contrary had involved him even more, had no borders.

Then, Samejima, the surly and boorish mechanic, who wore a moustache and was there to show his son his father could also be a hero - and to return with stories about the pinguins which fascinated the little boy. Since Kuramochi had saved him during the sea journey, he nicknamed him "boss".

The following line began with the chubby cook Manpei Yamazato, appointed voluntary before he could say a word, but who held his place with dignity and courage as if he had voluntered himself.

The doctor Tani-sensei came after him. The old man never lost his wits and spirits, was quiet, sweet and wise. His sons having died in the war, his companions were his family and he had gladly resigned to stay with the colony.

Next to them was the feverish radio Yokomine, who still did not know his twins, born after his departure, and who had decided to serve rather then returning to the country. The men nicknamed him "daddy" and often kid him, but they always asked news of the children and cried hourras to every details, more enthusiastic then the parents themselves.

At the end of the line was the representative of the State, the agent Himuro, his narrow eyes piercing the photography, filled with contradiction and bitterness. He had never forgiven Kuramochi for marrying the woman they both loved. He held against him to have continued to live after she was taken by the war. He hated to be forgiven by him for being the involuntary cause of the death of one of their team members, twelve years earlier, in a mountain beaten by thunderstorm.

Sometimes, Hoshino wondered how Himuro could live without being suffocated by his regrets, the constant friction between the requirements of the government and the reality of the on-the-spot life in Antarctica, his resentful admiration for Kuramochi and the frustration of not being able to realize his own aspiration with the same audacious freedom.

The leader got up and went to the wall. He wiped his glasses, put them back on his nose and pushed away an undisciplined lock of grey hair. He passed a hand on the faces of the last two members, the sailor Funaki and the climber Arashiyama, pronouncing their names in a low voice as a prayer.

Every day, Hoshino spent a moment to think specially of every member of the expedition, begging that they return all alive.

He smiled, caressing the pictures of the dogs Utsumi had taken.

The dogs were full members of the project, companions in the same way as human beings.

_Riki, _long brown snout affable leader_._

_Fuuren Kuma, _massive, majestic and terrifying, who had learnt where was his place and submitted himself to no other one than Kuramochi, as if he felt somewhere deep they were both descendants of the polar expedition led 45 years earlier.

_Shiro, _with long white silky hair, who should have been the leader and was very affectionate and absent-minded.

_Taro_ and _Jiro_, the two brothers, sons of Fuuren Kuma, big black bears, playful and shy, whom Kuramochi had saved.

And the others, the bitch _Shiroko_, the faithful _Tettsu_ who did not survive the first week of winter, the shy _Goro_, the unlucky and attaching _Anko_, the other _Kuma_, sweet slim _Pochi_… all different, all important.

Without them, none of it would have been possible…

Hoshino returned to his desk and took back his pen. He registered the date and added carefully in his diary that the three men who had left to accomplish the ascent of _Mount Botnnuten_ with the sled, and of whom they had had no news for several days, had finally been found.

Three dogs had galloped in the blizzard, with a message. Thanks to them, Kuramochi, Himuro and Inuzuka could now return home safe and sound.

Then he went back to the window, unable to remain seated.

Article 2 of the constitution: "Nobody dies during the first year."

Before Samejima and Utsumi, aboard the snowbike, would returned with those whom he considered as children, he would not be able to find peace.


	2. Rescued!

_Kuramochi had been, as usual, _extraordinary_. Even if that remained a source of amazement, they certainly had grown accustomed to it, otherwise, _how_ all of this could have happen?_

_Kuramochi was the hero he dreamt to be, the man he hoped to meet one day in his mirror, the professor who would have given him the passion to see the end of his studies, the older brother who would have been by his side and would never have let things end this way between his father and him, the incredible friend the journey in Antarctica had offered him._

_Inuzuka put his head in his hands and his tears flowed once again._

* * *

The dogs barked crazily. Riki jumped everywhere and licked cheeks, hands, glasses, all which passed in his reach. Jiro and Taro were everywhere, cumbersome and affectionate, stuck on the legs of Kuramochi, nearly making him stumble.

Utsumi was so relieved his smile was hurting, stretched on his face wiped by the austere climate of Antarctica.

- "Well, well, Himuro-san" he encouraged, straightening the arm of the injured man on his shoulder. "We're almost there. A few more steps and you'll enjoy the warmth of the snowbike."

The government official's face, wrinkled by pain, was still dirtied by the tears of gratitude he had poured, embracing the dogs when they finally came back.

- "All's fine, Himuro. We're saved now" added Kuramochi who supported him on the other side, his voice grated by their stay in the carcass of the whale.

He had put back his blue parka and the beige fur of the hood stuck to his hat, lifted by the wind of the plain.

- "Oy!" Shouted Samejima behind them. "Come back to help me! This kid's heavier than he seems!"

Inuzuka laughed weakly, hung onto the mechanic.

- "Didn't the doctor recommend exercise, especially to those who are older?" He stammered.

- "Tchh! Children nowadays have no respect anymore for whoever it is. I exercise enough running behind these damned pinguins, if you wanna now" complained Samejima. He ruffled the hair of the boy with affection. "Let's go home, okay?

- "Okay" repeated Inuzuka, exhausted, but happier than he had never been in his whole life.

Utsumi buckled the belt of the wounded man and wrapped him with an additional blanket.

- "We'll soon be at the station" he promised.

Himuro could not manage more than a shake of the head, thus that's what he did before closing his eyes.

- He's going to be fine, for sure.

- "Hmm" approved Kuramochi, his hands on the skulls of Jiro and Taro who curled up against his legs.

He really had no strength to add anything else. The fatigue and the hardships of the last days were mixed with gratitude on his features. He rubbed automatically the usual corner behind the ears of both brothers. The message wrapped in plastic still stirred in their thick black furs.

Utsumi squatted and caressed the truffles of both dogs, brushing off the snow on their snouts.

- "Well done, guys. Really, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you."

His voice went hoarse. He got up, erased with a quick gesture the emotion that rose to his eyes.

- "Rest a little" he said, giving a light pat to Kuramochi as he passed in front of him. "I'll go help Samejima."

The two others had again collapsed in the snow and laughed as if they were drunk. His head tilted, ears attentive, Riki observed them a moment, then decided they were okay. Hanging out his tongue, looking as usual like if he was laughing, he turned around and called his master to point out the scene.

Kuramochi answered with a sign of the arm.

Utsumi smiled.

The dogs adored their leader. Certainly, Inuzuka and all the others had also won their affection, but Kuramochi remained special for them.

He was always attentive to the needs of each, ready to give a hand, to solve a quarrel, to listen to somebody, but his dedication towards the dogs exceeded the domain of good-companionship. He worked shoulder to shoulder with them, ready to entrust them with his life.

They had proved today they were worth the faith he placed in them.

Utsumi released an exclamation when Riki destabilized him, passing in whirlwind.

- "Riki's the leader of the pack, but his boss's unquestionably Kuramochi" philosophized Samejima still laying in the snow. He grabbed Inuzuka's jacket and shook him with brotherly surliness. "Now, up you go, kiddo. Your bed's waiting for you at the station! You still have a long way to go before you're like the boss, inni't?"

Inuzuka got up, helped by Utsumi and staggered between both men to the snowbike.

- "You were very brave. You really did your best" Kuramochi congratulated seriously. He was now besieged by Riki besides both brothers. "Save me a little pudding, OK? It's the favorite of my sister, remember?"

- "The latecomers aren't entitled to this kind of privileges" Himuro mocked at without opening his eyes.

- "Ala! Always so inflexible, even frozen as a gobi" exclaimed Samejima, his hand on the door.

Himuro's cheeks had already taken back some colors. Or maybe it was simply the heat of Shiro who had skipped without notice in the snowbike and snuggled up against the agent who held him embraced.

- "Shiro" smiled Kuramochi.

The dog shook his spotless triangular ears, then stuck his truffle under the arm of Himuro, his big eyes clearly filled with an expression that could translate by "my place's here, whether that pleases you or not."

- "Okay" said Kuramochi, amused. "You can return with the first group, Shiro. Be a good boy, okay?"

The dog moaned, then yapped and wagged his tail.

Inuzuka was always stunned by the intelligence of the Sakhalin Huskies and their concrete communication with their leader. Especially when he himself was completely lost.

- "How's that, the _first group_?" He stammered while Utsumi helped him into the snowbike.

- The sled needs to be repaired before we can use it, and we can't all be at the same time in the snowbike. A group has to leave and then we have to come get the second" explained calmly Kuramochi. "I'm going to stay with dogs. You guys go with the first one."

- "No way, boss!" Protested Samejima vehemently. "You almost died frozen, we won't leave you! I'll stay, me.

Kuramochi smiled, but signed he disagreed.

- "It's better I stay. One night furthermore won't kill me" he carried on. "You brought food and blankets, I'll be okay. Taro, Jiro, Riki …"

His eyes walked on the dogs who waited quietly, their intelligent pupils fixed on him, their thick furs brushed back by the Arctic wind.

- "… Kuma, Kuro, Jakku, Aka and ah, Goro. Hm. Yes, and I. We'll wait for you here. The others should be able to get in the snowbike with you. Go, leave. Tell Hoshino-san we're fine."

Utsumi began a movement of protest.

-"Hurry, leave" cut in Kuramochi. "Himuro needs emergency care and we don't know when a blizzard will knock again. We'll wait for you."

You did not disobey Kuramochi. Maybe officially he was only the assistant-leader, but in their hearts, he was the real captain.

Maybe they were fascinated as well as the dogs when it came to him, thought Utsumi.

That did not disturb him. On the contrary, he began humming in a low voice.

- "Bye, boss!" Roared Samejima by the opened door, while the snowbike went away.

Himuro tightened his embrace around Shiro who licked his face. Inuzuka had difficulty refraining from crying, without understanding why the fading silhouette of Kuramochi among the dogs filled him with so much emotion.

Soon, _Whale Hill_ disappeared in the unlimited whiteness of Antarctica and the only thing the boy managed to think of was the idea of his bed, Yamazato's delicious ramens and the friendly heat of the corridors at the station.

In front of the carcass which had protected them from the blizzard, Kuramochi sat down heavily in the snow. He raised his head, looking at the immense, steel blue and so clear sky, and sighed. Then he stretched out on his back, one arm on the snow, the other folded up against him. Jiro and Taro layed down in imitation immediately. Riki bent over the face of his master, panting as if he laughed.

Kuramochi held out his hand and massaged the neck of the dog, where the fur overflowed his necklace.

- "Riki. I owe you one. Thank you…"

The dog barked as if he understood, then also lay down in the snow, sticking his snout near the cheek of Kuramochi.

The young man swallowed. The pain in his arm had dissipated with the arrival of help, but it was now coming back.

And something curled in his chest beat slowly with the rhythm of his heart, like a threat.

A few more hours, then he would be back home.

Then only, when all, including the Sakhalin huskies, would be safe, would he be able to release his vigilance and listen to what his body tried to tell him.


	3. Priorities

When Himuro came back to consciousness, the doctor told him the second group had just arrived safe and sound. Himuro agreed silently, absolutely exhausted by the return of _Mount Botnnuten_ and what could not really qualify as an operation, some inhumanity practised on his leg. If he had to choose, he did not know between them two what had been the most horrible.

He closed his eyes, simply satisfied to hear the dogs yap outside and the joyful calls out to one another of his… yes, it was the right word. His _friends_.

It had happened. He had changed, too. Antarctica had this effect on you.

_It was not such a bad thing, after all …_

He sank into sleep, the corners of his lips relaxed as if he was going to smile.

- "Hola, Shiro, you can't enter here! How did you escape?" exclaimed Tani-sensei, pushed aside by the big mass of white hair which had rushed in the infirmary through the half-opened door.

He smiled, moved and decided to make a sprain to what he had been taught. After all, rules of the normal world did not apply in Antarctica where everything was completely new.

He slowly closed the door behind him.

Himuro, plunged into the thick torpor of anesthetics, heard nothing. For the first time in years, he dreamt about absolutely nothing.

Curled at the end of the narrow bed, Shiro sighed and put his fine snout against the bandages wrapped on the wounded leg of the government official. He winked a little, then also fell asleep, satisfied to be just here, near the smell of the human he loved.

* * *

Inuzuka chuckled, because of the contagious laughter of the others who laughed at his clumsiness with chopsticks. His fingers would be saved, but they were still enormous, red and cracked, crossed by shivers of pain as by an electric current.

It didn't matter. He was alive.

_Alive._

It was what Himuro had also said, crying on the shoulder of his rescuers, without caring about his image.

_Alive_.

Nothing equalled that.

Nothing was more beautiful than that.

His eyes fell out and his lips started to tremble.

Somebody slapped him in the back.

- "Still crying, kiddo! No need to put yourself in such a state for a pair of chopsticks. I'll help you. Open up, "aah"!"

Samejima looked so ridiculous with his opened mouth, the bowl of rice in a hand and chopsticks loaded with tinned vegetables in the other one, that Inuzuka bursted in laughter through his tears.

- "I'm sorry", he babbled, passing the backhand of his sleeve on his face.

- "It's okay" said slowly the mechanic, his glance filled with unusual paternal expression."T's okay…"

- "Yes" answered Inuzuka weakly.

_A thousand of a thousand times._

He would never be grateful enough he was able to come in Antarctica, to meet those who with him would enter the history as the First Expedition Cross-Winter of Japan.

Hoshino smiled to him as he entered the room, looking for somebody.

- "Hello, Inuzuka-han. Already up? You should rest more."

- "I need to go back to my study of the boreal aurora" said the boy shyly.

The smile of the leader of the colony widened even more under his glasses.

- "Well said, my boy. That's the spirit of the first Expedition! But I'd love all the same you'd take time to recover. You were in a sad state when you arrived, yesterday evening."

He frowned, almost without noticing it.

- "Remember the second article of the constitution. I want all members who went to _Mount Botnnuten_ to be perfectly back on feet before resuming their usual tasks. That's also true for…" He sighed. "Did anybody see Kuramochi-han? I sent him to the infirmary after his report, but the doctor hasn't seen him yet."

Samejima pointed the window with his thumb.

- "If I were you, I'll make a tour near the dogs. The boss isn't the kind to go rest before making sure they're all okay."

Something that looked like guilt bit the heart of Inuzuka.

The day before, he had collapsed on his bed, once his hands had been taken care of, and had completely forgotten the dogs.

_Their rescuers._

_How could he be so ungrateful and selfish?_

He stood and the room capsized around him.

- "Not so fast, protested Hoshino who had caught up him. "Take time to recover your strength, don't worry about the dogs. We're enough people to take care of them."

He entrusted the boy to Samejima and hurried towards the kennel.

Eventually, it was empty.

Hoshino went out of the building, putting a hand in visor to protect from the brilliant polar sun.

- "Oy!" He called. "Kuramochi-han! Where are you? Oy! Kuramochi!"

The cook appeared at the corner of the station, an enormous pot in hands.

- "Hoshino-san! Kuramochi-chan left to the infirmary. I'm bringing some warm soup to the dogs, he said they deserved it."

Hoshino had a fond pout.

- "It's true." He tapped the papers he held against his leg, then made a turn. "Very well, very well. I just have to go back in, then."

He met the eyes of Riki, attached to the door. Jiro and Taro layed in the snow, one's head on the spinal column of the other one, but they also had their eyes on the building.

- "You watch for him, too, right?" he murmured.

He tried to smile, but the intense way Riki looked at the place he has last seen his master put him ill-at-ease, for some weird reason.


	4. A Bad Feeling

The common room rustled cheerfully, like every evening at this moment when it transformed from dining hall to lounge. All dishes were not yet washed - to tell the truth, there were still two or three people sat at the table - but the atmosphere was filled with anticipated relaxation. Hoshino would maybe tell weird stories full of wisdom. Samejima was going to win all cards games, as usual. Arashiyama would make them laugh with stories of his work as a guide. Funaki would read poems. Yokomine, probably, would be made fun of and played up on his musing aloud about the twins.

Inuzuka managed to finish his plate without his stomach rebelling against gulping down so much food after several days of hardship. He blew his nose noisily - it kept flowing since they had returned, two days before. He piled up his bowls and left the bench.

At the end of the table, Hoshino scraped conscientiously the last crumbs of his supper, and did not seem to appreciate it very much, distracted by the last seated person.

His cheek in his left hand, Kuramochi watched his chopsticks collect a ball of rice, push it in a corner, scratch a little burnt spot on his fish.

He did not have the feeling he was the one who executed these gestures.

His neck was heavy, as if he was still pulling the sled in the storm, and his ears buzzed so hardly the conversations seemed distant. His body was numbed, as if it had not really returned with him from the carcass of the whale where it had hung onto life.

- "Having trouble eating, with this bandage? Do you need to be fed like Inuzuka?" said Utsumi in a mocking voice, bending towards him.

Kuramochi's eyes went to his right wrist, imprisoned into a splint.

He could still move his fingers, without thinking of it too much, but it was out of question to lead the dogs during two good weeks, had said the doctor.

- "You were lucky to get out of it in so well account" said Utsumi, retrospective relief audible his voice.

Kuramochi smiled, in spite of the fatigue coiled under his eyes, acid as the blizzard. It was not the first time of his life he had spent several days without sleeping, but he was absolutely exhausted by the tension of maintaining the two others awake, the bite of the cold against which he had had to fight, having removed his parka to cover Himuro and Inuzuka with it, the moral energy he had had to gather to believe the dogs would save them and to breathe it into his dying team-mates.

- "It's true," he agreed. "None of the dogs was hurt and Himuro will be almost freed of his crutches when it'll be time to go back to Japan."

- "Inuzuka was the only one to buy himself a beautiful cold" added Utsumi, laughing. "And after that, who says idiots don't get ill!"

He gave a friendly pat onto the shoulder of Kuramochi who quivered, pinched by a sudden pain which had nothing to do with the expected aches of that trial.

- "You'll join us, tonight? Somebody has to beat Samejima or we'll be ruined before we get back home!"

Kuramochi smiled again, without moving.

- "Count on me."

His voice was still hoarse. Utsumi left after looking worrily at the hardly eaten portion of rice. Hoshino caught him by the arm before he went off the room.

- "How is he?"

- "As usual" answered Utsumi, a little surprised by the tangible anxiety in the eyes of their leader. "He didn't eat a lot and he's obviously tired, but he said he'll come to play this evening. I think he holds out and that … "

- "He didn't sleep, last night", whispered Inuzuka, hardly understandable with his blocked nose.

Hoshino pulled them both in the corridor.

- "He was only turning and moaning" continued Inuzuka. "I slept, I… I mean, I wasn't always awake, but he didn't sleep, that's for sure. He was sitting, last night, and also this morning when I woke up."

- "He's pale, but it's normal after what you went through. What the doc said, Hoshino-san?"

The man removed his glasses and wiped them. He massaged his nose, then put them back on.

- "Kuramochi-han spoke only about his wrist, but according to Tani-sensei, he has also creased or cracked ribs, seeing as he moves. That would explain he's uncomfortable."

They glanced at the dining hall. Kuramochi was giving back his bowl to the cook, apologizing for not having emptied it. Indeed, he was a little stiff, like if if he tried hard not to move too much his chest.

- "I'd like him to rest, said Hoshino with a tired voice. "He took care of dogs, he made the connection between Himuro-han's room and the radio …"

- "He even gave a hand to Samejima, to settle the device near the pinguins" added Utsumi.

- "He's incredible" sighed Inuzuka who proceeded to sneeze repeatedly and had to go wash his face, since he was missing room in his handkerchief.

This evening, Kuramochi won one of three games he had against Samejima. He cracked jokes of Yokomine and was one of the last to leave the room. It was not the man filled with energy they were used to, but it was the leader bright with charisma and good mood they estimated so much.

During the night, Inuzuka heard him cough repeatedly, curled up to himself to prevent the movement which shook him to resound on his bruised ribs. The boy lifted himself up a little on his elbows, trying to know if he had to help, but Kuramochi noticed it and asked him immediately if he needed something. Inuzuka stammered, became muddled, eventually fell silent. The young man smiled and brought him a pile of improvised handkerchiefs cut from an old sheet. Inuzuka fell asleep again with the feeling that everything was well and a piece of fabric smelling of soap snuggled up against his chin.

The next day, Kuramochi was once again the first one up, haloed by the pink light of Antarctica, the dogs dancing around him, when the men emerged from the building for the warm-up. Yokomine collected two buckets of meat and gave him a hand to feed the dogs, not noticing the task had set much more time than the ordinary. Kuramochi exchanged greetings with the others, his brown hair shaken by the wind, his usual friendly smile on the face.

But he did not join them for the warm-up.

While he hurried in the direction of his room to shake up Inuzuka - late as usual - he suddenly saw the walls of the corridor tremble like a mirage on the white plain.

His legs faded away and the familiar vision of the narrow passage between the rooms diluted in a strange fog.

His head brushed a navy blue curtain, then struck the ground, and his eyes closed.

In front of the kennel, Riki began pulling fervently at his chaine and started to bark furiously.


	5. Sinking

Samejima frowned, in the middle of stretching his arms.

- "Oy! What's the matter with him?"

- "Peace, Riki! Peace!" Ordered Hoshino, coming towards him and catching his chops.

A funny sensation, cold as a droplet, sank along his vertebral column.

Riki did not react to the familiar gesture of affection. He got free and began again to jump and bark, as to tell them something was wrong. Jiro and Taro squeaked plaintively, their truffles clocked to the building. Their father, Kuma, let out a muffled groan.

Utsumi put his hand on the arm of their leader.

- "Hoshino-san, do you believe…?"

He did not end his sentence and began running behind Samejima who had just rushed to the door.

All the others followed.

- "Boss!" Shouted the mechanic, aghast, stopping abruptly, not worrying about the collisions happening behind him.

- "Kuramochi!" Repeated several voices, terrified.

Samejima stepped over the legs of the young man spread on the ground and knelt down. He lifted delicately his head and tapped his cheeks.

- "Boss! Boss, d'you hear me? Boss!"

He lifted his eyes, anxiety clutching on his stomach, met Hoshino's eyes and the others'.

- He's burning up…

Utsumi ran to the infirmary. Hoshino got rid of his jacket and covered his assistant with it.

Outside, the dogs kept barking and stirring, uncontrollable.

* * *

Station Showa was completely silent.

In their snow holes, the dogs did not sleep, ears attentive to the slightest movement inside the buildings.

Alone in his bedroom, Himuro hold Shiro's collar, desperate to hear somebody pass by in the corridor, to be able to ask a question, hating his leg nailing him aside.

In the common room, the men did not speak, forehead rested against their joint hands, elbows on the table, teeth tightly shut.

Near the door of the infirmary, Inuzuka, Samejima and Utsumi sat on the ground, head against the wall or on their folded arms.

_Kuramochi._

_Kuramochi._

_Kuramochi._

_Kuramochi._

Tears ran down on Inuzuka's face, impossible to stop, never ending stream of despair.

Utsumi held out a hand and pressed the boy's knee, a moment. Samejima rubbed his mustache, wondering why it tickled him unpleasantly.

Hoshino felt his nails ripping the skin in his fists, inside his pockets, while he watched the doctor finish his examination.

- "Kuramochi-kun? Kuramochi? Do you hear me? Takeshi-kun?"

On the bed, the young man shivered. One foot stirred, under the blanket. On his face glittering with sweat, his features wrinkled of pain when he tried to move. The doctor calmed him with a hand.

- "Shush… it's gonna be okay. Don't try to move. Can you squeeze my hand?"

He caught Kuramochi's and felt the anxiety releasing a little his shoulders when the gesture was answered.

- "Good… that's good…"

The eyelids of the young man opened with difficulty.

- "Ri… ki…w-as… b-b ba… rki…"

- "Not any more" said the doctor, smiling. "Riki made sure we understood something was wrong. What a great dog, isn't it?"

Kuramochi closed his eyes and something that looked like a smile took shape a moment on his lips.

Then he began coughing.

The pain pushed its claws in his chest, filled his mouth, wracking his entire body without leaving him enough breath to moan.

Hoshino came as additional help to help the doctor to settle him on the side to relieve him a little. He massaged Kuramochi's stiff shoulder blades, pushed aside a lock of hair the fever was stucking to his forehead.

- "Easy… easy…" said the doctor with the same tone of voice he'd use for a child.

He wiped the mouth of the patient and kept passing a wet linen on his face until the crisis calmed down little.

When Kuramochi fell asleep again, exhausted, shivering with fever, pain folded on his features, both men left the room quietly…

… And found the whole colony in the corridor.

- "How's the boss?" Asked worriedly Samejima before anyone spoke.

Inuzuka's eyes had never been so wide and worried.

Hoshino took a long breath, decided to ask them to wait and not to worry, but the doctor spoke in the first one.

- "He's not fine", he said slowly. He took out of his pocket the linen he had used and considered for a long time the little pinkish tracks of blood staining it. He cleared up his throat. "Kuramochi-kun may have internal bleeding."


	6. Pow Wow

The men exchanged uncertain and concerned looks.

They were all gathered in the common room - including Himuro who had settled his leg on a bench - and contemplated Tani-sensei who rubbed automatically his rare hair. The heating worked, but it seemed the polar cold had infiltrated inside.

- "It's not simply about broken ribs or a bad cold", explained once again the doctor. "I've got no means to operate, here. I was able to put back Himuro-san's leg because it wasn't a complicated fracture, but I'm not a surgeon and I don't have the adequat equipment. We have to pray it's only a pneumonia, not something worse…"

- "Only a pneumonia" repeated Utsumi, aghast, dropping on the chair their leader was usually sitting on.

- "For a few days, it'll be necessary to watch him very closely. I'll also ask for the assistance of other medics with the radio. Yokomine-kun, if you could guide me for it …

Yokomine stood, saluting, his throat too tightened to answer, but nobody laughed.

Samejima had not noticed he was twisting his hands. Inuzuka was paralyzed. He did not cry any more, but tracks of tears remained engraved on his lethally pale cheeks.

- "At the moment, all we can do is let him rest as much as possible" added Hoshino-san, getting off the table against which he had leaned, his arms crossed. "Somebody has to take on his resp…"

He did not have time to finish his sentence. Five hands had already been raised. He had a poor smile.

- "Thank you" he murmured.

- "Himuro-san" said the doctor "I need you to take care of your leg, to avoid complications. If you could…"

The representative of the government blushed violently.

- "I won't cause any trouble" he hissed harshly.

- "… spend some time in the infirmary, near Kuramochi-kun, it'd be of big help" ended Tani-sensei. He flashed a calming smile at the young man. "When he'll be lucid, he'll need the presence of somebody whom he knows well."

- "I can do that too!" growled Samejima, making everybody jump. "We're kinda family, here, innit, Hoshino-san? The boss knows me too!"

Others mumbled, a breath of wounded approval roamed on the anxious group. Inuzuka had the transparent look of somebody who does not trust himself anymore and who thinks he will never be given an other chance.

The leader shook his head softly.

- "Samejima-han is right" he said slowly. "We _are_ family. Tani-sensei, is it possible that each of us help taking care of Kuramochi? We're all worried about him. And you'll have to rest too."

The doctor bowed.

- "Very well. But one by one. And those who are too noisy won't be authorized to come back."

The men nodded, docile, intimidated by the responsibility they were granted.

- "Last thing, resumed the doctor with severity. "I know we've let Shiro in for a while, but it's absolutely out of question Riki or any of the dogs approach the infirmary until Kuramochi-kun gets better. The risk of infection in his state is too big. Well understood? "

Inuzuka shook his chin weakly, changed into a statue of salt, while the others lowered their eyes.

In the infirmary, Kuramochi slept breathing with difficulty, supported by improvised pillows. Dark circles seemed even larger under his eyelashes and fever oozed on his forehead, running on his temples and along his nose. The collar of his black pullover underlined the paleness of his face in spite of the tan Antarctica's weather had given him. His wrist imprisoned into the splint rested on the blanket and his fingers trembled almost imperceptibly.

Outside, the blizzard was blowing again, and Riki, his hair strewed with tiny white flakes, layed down, squeaking plaintively.


	7. Waiting

Delicately, Inuzuka pushed away a sticky lock of hair and adjusted the wet linen on Kuramochi's forehead.

- "How are you feeling today, Kuramochi-san?" He murmured, trying hard to be cheerful. He sat down on the stool and put his hands on his knees, straight like as a pupil. " The blizzard stopped and the dogs want to run. Fuuren Kuma almost ate Anko, but Riki made sure it didn't happen."

He let out a small laughter.

- "Riki remembers well he's the leader of the pack! Utsumi-san said he'll come with me to lead the sled, in the afternoon, so they can exert themselves. Maybe Kuma just needs to stretch his legs. What do you think, Kuramochi-san?"

His smile vacillated in the amber light that filled the room at that time of the day. His shoulders fell a little.

- "Samejima-san said he told you the story of the pinguin who swallowed a piece fish too big for him. Did he tell you the same thing happened to Funaki-san, the same day? He almost suffocated with his dinner. Hoshino-san gave him a big slap on the back to get his throat free! His eyes were crying. Yamazato-san was very upset!"

He took a long breath, his smile falling down on the edges of his lips.

- "Kuramochi-san. Tani-sensei … Tani-sensei said …"

His voice choked. He held out his hand and caught the sleeve of the young man.

- "Please … Wake up. We need you …"

His tears overflowed. He wiped them in a furious gesture but they continued to pour. He did not recognize his voice, acute with pleading.

- "Kuramochi-san! _I_ need you …"

He lowered his head and sobbed, like a child whose feelings break the dam of modesty, of what is reasonable.

_Nothing was reasonable anymore._

Kuramochi had sunk into unconsciousness four days earlier. The fever was so strong he wasn't even delirious like it had happened previously. No complaint escaped his lips any more. He was simply laying on the side, to make sure he would not suffocate, pushed heavily in the mattress, each breath hissing.

Ten days had gone since they had returned from _Mount Botnnuten_.

The men had taken turns at his bedside, indefatigably.

At the beginning, he often slept, but when he was awake, they felt useful. They told him about their days, about the dogs, gave news of Japan. They were torn by the coughing fits that folded him in two because of the pain, they hated to have to allow the doctor to intervene, but they always came back. Because even though his eyes were brightened with fever, he still encouraged them, listened to their concerns and their quarrels, gave advice and made them laugh when they seemed too worried.

_Kuramochi remained Kuramochi._

But things did not improve. The tracks of blood had changed in clots mixed with bile, and when he was alone with the doctor, he sometimes implored plaintively for something that could stop the suffering.

Behind the door, Utsumi had burst his lip, bitting it when he had heard the word "morphine".

Himuro was darker and more sarcastic than he had ever been from the beginning of the journey. He was so vile they avoided him without even hidding it. The others had the impression you were punishing him when asking him to help the young man to eat, for example. Pushed out of the infirmary, when inside Tani-sensei tried to calm his patient shaken by these cough fits that wracked his chest, Himuro's face was frozen in an expression of furious humiliation which frightened them.

But in the infirmary, when the doctor rolled bands, pretending to be old and deaf, Himuro held the hand of Kuramochi and, in a whisper, begged him to get better.

Kuramochi smiled weakly, his big and cheerful brown eyes calm for a moment, and promised he would be up and about the next day.

Kuramochi was either a very good liar, or an optimist like the world had never known.

Then he had not answered any more, one day, after such a strong crisis it had almost thrown him out of bed. They had waited a little, for him to rest, but …

Seventy-two hours later, he was still out of consciousness and Tani-sensei had admitted, this morning, that if he did not soon wake up, he would never wake up.

Two days before, Samejima had announced Riki disdained the food they brought him and had injured himself pulling at his collar to escape. The dog was now in the corridor, where the doctor had accepted him, lowering his eyes.

_" This may be the only thing we can do for him " _he had sighed.

The men had said nothing more for the rest of the day, exchanging the least words, carrying out their usual tasks, and nobody had complained to have to take on Inuzuka's chores, since he did not go out any more of the infirmary.

Inuzuka was only a child, after all. What they could hardly accept in spite of the war which haunted their past, he had not faced it yet.

In the radio room, Yokomine considered the telegram Himuro had given him and could not resolve to the idea of having to send it.

The page was scrawled by a pen which trembled with sorrow and anger and began with these words:

_" Dear Miyuki-chan,_

_Your brother-in-law, Takeshi Kuramochi, will never come back from Antarctica. __"_


	8. Still waiting and suddenly

Samejima had carried Riki outside and had put him in the powder snow, muttering. Now he was shaking a piece of meat in front of the dog, squatted with frowned eyebrows.

- "_Hola_, Riki make an effort. Don't let yourself down. What's the boss going to say, if you become all skinny, hey? Come on, Riki …"

The brown eyes of the animal turned away sadly.

- "Riki! Don't do that… eat, come on. You need to be strong to lead the sled when the boss will be up and about, eh! Oy, Riki …"

Riki squeaked slowly and closed eyes, snout put on his paws.

Samejima passed his thick orange mitten in front of his eyes.

_What are you doing, boss? Wake up …_

He got up, relaxed his numb legs, the frozen piece of lamb still in hand. The sky was big, high, clear. Days like this one helped him understand why Kuramochi loved so much this continent. Everything was so pure and so new, and everything seemed possible.

_What irony for a place of the world called "inaccessible" …_

Somebody tapped him on on the shoulder.

- "He still doesn't want to eat, I see."

Samejima rocked on his feet.

- "I thought a little fresh air would do good to him, but he just wanted to stay in the corridor …"

- "He misses Kuramochi just as much as us, isn't?" said thoughtfully Funaki.

The dog raised his ears suddenly and sat down with a groan.

- "He recognized his name" said Funaki. "Hey, Riki? You'd like Kuramochi-san to lead you with the sled, right?"

Riki began wagging and released a bark.

- "Don't make him hope for nothing" mumbled Samejima.

Funaki nibbled his lips.

- "Isn't it hope that made all of us hold on till now?"

Riki made a sudden jump and they stumbled with surprise. He dashed to the building, pulling on his chaine, and fell down when he got to the end of the rings, barking fervently.

Samejima and Funaki exchanged a glance, petrified.

_Kuramochi!_

* * *

Inuzuka's lashes swept slightly his cheekbone when his eyelids beat open. He sighed, sensations returning in his body as he woke up. He had again fallen asleep at the edge of Kuramochi's bed, arms crossed on the blanket, and his back was aching.

He unfolded slowly, heavy sleep still on his temples, yawned and stretched, turning on his stool.

- Sorry, Tani-sensei, I've…

The words died on his lips.

The old man was still at his desk, holding the cloth he used to clean his tools, his white coat crooked on his woolen vest.

But he was frozen, eyes opened wide over, glasses fallen at the end of his nose, his scattered hair electrified on the skull.

Inuzuka stiffened. He turned around to the bed, feeling like all his bones creaked.

- "Kuramochi-kun!" Blew the doctor, finally managing to get up.

He reached the bed before the boy.

- "My God … Kuramochi …"

Something exploded Inuzuka's throat. He joined his hands, folding brutally his fingers where the skin peeled, now that his bandages were off, and tears broke out on his cheeks like a tsunami.


	9. Face to face

Utsumi barged in the common room as Samejima and Funaki rushed in. Outside, the barks had doubled, the deep voice of Kuma and his sons almost covering Riki's sharp yaps.

- "Kuramochi!" He panted. "Kuramochi is…"

The others got up, faces turning abruptly pale. Samejima stumbled, caught himself at the door frame.

Utsumi swallowed, trying to get back his breath.

- "Kuramochi is awake!" He broke finally, his smile appearing and going up to his eyes, impossible to stop.

Nobody managed to articulate a word, then Samejima removed his hat and threw it on the ground.

- "_That_! You couldn't tell faster?" He exclaimed with his usual surliness, but wet eyes. "You freaked us out! "

At this moment, hourras burst, joining the concert begun by the dogs.

* * *

Inuzuka stepped aside, while the doctor was putting on his stethoscope with haste.

- "Takeshi-kun. Do you recognize me?" Asked Tani-sensei, his voice hoarse, trying to resume to a more professional tone but with no success.

The young man shook his head weakly. He moved a bit, as if he wanted to speak.

- "Not so fast" giggled the doctor who was getting brighter as fast as a bulb on dynamo. "You were very sick …" He pulled down the pullover and put back in place the blanket, after listening carefully. "Your breathing's better, I'm so glad! Open your mouth, just a moment. There… good, good. Watch out, your eyes …"

Kuramochi did not move, docilely submitted to the exam. The doctor finished verifying the pulse, then pushed the boy towards the bed.

- "See, Inuzuka-kun's there. He spent all this time at your side. Everybody was very worried about you!"

A smile brushed Kuramochi's face. His left hand went up on the thick army blanket, then stopped. He closed his eyes, his breath accelerating a little.

- "Inu … Inuzu... ka" he murmured.

The boy made a step forward and grabbed his hand.

- "I'm here, Kuramochi-san!"

The doctor bent and affectionatly touched the cheekbone of the patient.

- "Easy, Kuramochi-kun. Don't over do it. A little time will be needed, but you'll be fine…"

Kuramochi reopened his eyes. Fatigue already diluted his glance, but something shone at the bottom, like a pearl under the surface of water.

- "The… do-ogs" he articulated.

Tani-sensei smiled widely.

- "Yes" he answered. "I can hear them too. They missed you. We all missed you.

The corners of the young man's mouth went up, then sleep overwhelmed him.

- "Kuramochi-san?" Called Inuzuka, his voice trembling.

- "It's okay" said the doctor. "One step at a time, sometimes even only half a step, that's what matter. Isn't it what he taught us? He'll be awake a little longer next time."

Inuzuka's knees gave in abruptly and he found himself on the ground, his forehead against the bed's edge, his hands still holding Kuramochi's.

The doctor squeezed his shoulder, friendly.

- "Yes" he said slowly.

Something fell noisily behind them and they jumped.

Utsumi was at the door step and the tins he held before were now empitying themselves on the ground.

- "Kuramochi?" He questioned, his voice losing all color. "_No_, he's … "

Tani-sensei smiled.

- On the contrary. He finally woke up.

* * *

Himuro stood in the snow, in front of both lines of dogs that the setting sun hemmed of gold and copper. The night was falling and the cold was getting sharper.

The shade of his crutches drew a gigantic V on the ground covered with twinkling powder.

He looked at the horizon, at the place where finished the territory of the men and where began God's land, and his breath swelled frivolously in the evening.

_Kuramochi was alive._

In the radio room, Yokomine retranscribed in morse the message the representative of the government had entrusted him with.

The page was a little crumpled and the writing not really readable, but the message began with these words:

_" Dear Miyuki-chan,_

_Your brother-in-law, Takeshi Kuramochi, will come back from Antarctica. "_

Outside, Himuro brought his mitten to his face and picked up a tear on his cheek, amazed.

_Yes, he had changed._

Now he wept with joy because his everlasting rival had not admited defeat.

At his feet, Riki devoured conscientiously pieces of meat Samejima had enjoyed decorating with ribbons cut from an old red fabric.

In the infirmary, Hoshino watched his assistant sleep.

_No, everything was not yet at an end._ There would be more fights, defeats, lamentations, moments when it would be necessary to decide to get up whatever it cost, victories acquired in excess prize, celebrations and battles won.

Tani-sensei had not tell the others, and especially not Inuzuka who slept, crushed by emotion, on the doctor's desk.

Hope had returned, but nothing guaranteed Kuramochi was saved.


	10. Friendship

Utsumi stepped back, holding awkwardly his hands full of soap away from his splashed shirt.

- "You needed it, indeed!" He exclaimed, his smile so wide it almost hid his eyes. " Wah, that was dirty!"

Samejima passed his arms under Kuramochi's armpits and lifted him in the improvised bathtub, when Inuzuka had finished rinsing his hair.

- "The boss doesn't need to make expenses to get women" he said cheerfully.

- "There're some limits to savagery, all the same!" Utsumi complained, laughing. "Your pretty sister-in-law wouldn't recognize you!"

- "He needs to shave. He"ll soon be hairier than Kuma" added Tani-sensei from his desk, where he was keeping himself in careful distance of spatters.

- "Guys…" protested Kuramochi, his eyes sparkling.

The infirmary was filled with noise and animation. Samejima had put on a white apron borrowed from the cook, far too big for him, and used a thread to secure it at this waist. Utsumi wore a raincoat which belonged to Arashiyama and Inuzuka wore rubber boots, drenched as if it was to him they were giving a bath.

Kuramochi thin and naked shoulders were leaning against the tank they had filled with boiling water – still smoking – and bubbling soap.

He was not yet strong enough on his legs to move, but the doctor had finally authorized him to leave the infirmary for a short period. In this honor, he had asked if it was possible they helped him wash and dress.

Twenty days had gone since the return from _Mount Botnnuten_.

Inuzuka squatted next to the tank and rubbed Kuramochi's back with the big orange sponge. His tucked up sleeves plunged a bit in the bath, but he cared little about it.

- "Watch out his…" began Tani-sensei with a movement of anxiety.

Kuramochi gripped his chest, suddenly bent, eyes wrinkled.

- "Sorry!" exclaimed immediately the boy.

- "Ala" scolded Samejima. "Be careful, kiddo!"

- "It's nothing, all fine" coughed Kuramochi, raising a palm. He cleared his throat. " It's okay. It's gone. It's over."

The doctor sat back slowly, observing him with attention.

- "Samejima-san, please", said Utsumi. "Help him get up, he's about clean. No need to risk catching a cold!"

Inuzuka rushed in the direction of the towels they had stored as close as possible to the heat. They had added different sources of heating in the infirmary and the temperature was almost too high for the men used to the icing climate.

But Kuramochi was too weak to bear even just the passage in the corridor of the warehouse where the outside cold sneaked in.

- "And now, a glass of milk!" Declared Samejima who had helped the young man up to a chair, once dried. He rubbed his hair enthusiastically. "I always tell Kenta, that's what makes a man!"

Utsumi brought a pile of clothes to Kuramochi.

- "Funaki-san washed them and folded them just like a good housewife!" He joked. "I'll also give him my laundry next time!"

Everybody laughed with him, except Inuzuka who knelt down to help Kuramochi to put on his socks and shoes.

He wanted to bury himself in the ground, to prostrate himself to apologize, to disappear.

The young man got a hand out of the sleeve of his pullover and put it on the boy's head.

- "Thank you, Inuzuka" he said firmly.

Utsumi half smiled, seeing the face of the youngest member getting clearer. Kuramochi always knew how to encourage and uplift the too sensitive student.

Somebody discreetly knocked at the door and the cook sneaked inside with a tray.

- "Kuramochi-chan, I prepared this for you. It's made with spices my senpai gave me for special occasions. A secret ingredient!"

- "Lucky!" Samejima exclaimed, coming to sniff the dish. "Huum! That smells really good, indeed! Leave me some, boss! "

Kuramochi smiled.

- "Manpei… thank you very much."

He started to get up. Utsumi and Inuzuka were at the second on each side, with good inspiration, because he vacillated on his legs.

- "Not so fast" repeated Tani-sensei for the thousandest time. "The bath was probably very tiring for you. Go back to bed a little, eat what Yamazato-kun brought you and we'll see then to go to the dining room. "

He suppressed a roar of laughter and frowned with as much severity he was able to gather when all the present men, with one accord, turned pleading eyes to him.

- "Please, doc" implored Kuramochi in an almost funny tone. "I'd like to go see the dogs and…"

- "The dogs! Never. You're not ready to put one foot outside."

Utsumi straightened a little Kuramochi's arm on his shoulder.

- "But can the dogs come in – for a short time only, please?"

Tani-sensei crossed a hand on his wide forehead, then considered the flooded infirmary and his patient who waited for his answer, hopeful.

- "All right" he sighed. "About ten minutes. But before that, I want Kuramochi to sit down and eat quietly, while you help me clean the place."

Samejima poked Inuzuka.

- "Did you hear that, kiddo? Get to work already!"

The boy rolled frightened eyes.

- "I thought that he meant us all …"

Everybody laughed. Yamazato was finally the one who gave Kuramochi a piggy back ride to his room, to take him away from the excitement that had seized the infirmary.

- "Thank you, Manpei" said the young man, resting his head against the wall, once settled on his bed.

He let out a sigh of satisfaction, finding back the usual mess on the opposite bed - he shared his room with Inuzuka - his samples of pebbles, his diary about the dogs, the notes taken during the expedition to _Mount Botnnuten_ somebody had deposited on his tiny desk.

The cook sat down with precaution next to him, making the bed base creak. He spread a blanket on Kuramochi's legs, then gave him the dish.

- "This looks delicious" assured Kuramochi. He blew on the rice pudding delicately spiced, then swallowed the first spoonful. " Muhum it'ch very good, Manpei! "

Yamazato's face split like a slice of watermelon and his eyes misted.

- "Kuramochi-chan… thank you" he stammered, tilting his head. " And to be back among us… thank you so much! "

The young man squeezed his shoulder, smiling, giving him time to get back to himself.

- "I so wanted to be able to do something for Kuramochi-chan, too…"

- "Thank you, Manpei" repeated Kuramochi.

He started eating again, savoring the perfumed sweetness of the dish.

_Yes, friendship was something one could actually taste…_

He did not make it to the end of the dish, feeling his eyes closing in the happy torpor that had won him over after the bath.

He felt relaxed, relieved, freed from the sweatiness and the smell of disease that seemed so stifling since he had gotten better.

Very little things were enough to make you feel good, even at the very end of the world. Feeling your cheeks shaved, clean and smooth hair, joyful glances that wrapped you with affection, warm clothes that smelled of washing powder, delicious food coming down peacefully to your stomach and filling you with satisfaction.

_With that, the constant pinch under his ribs could almost be forgotten …_

Gently, Yamazato took back the mess tin which threatened to overturn and put it on the desk. He got up and wrapped Kuramochi in his chubby arms, lengthening him with precaution on the narrow bed. He tidied up the long legs of the young man, covered him carefully with Inuzuka's blanket, then stood up again.

Kuramochi breathed peacefully, without this whistling sound that had worried them so much during the terrifying hours when he did not wake up any more, and colors on his face had nothing to do with fever.

- "I knew he was going to fall asleep" said Tani-sensei at the door step. "This was too much stuff for a single day... Really. Nobody listens to me, on this base."

Yamazato bowed respectfully, as much as his stoutness allowded him.

- "Tani-sensei…from the bottom of my heart, _thank you_."

The old doctor raised his shoulders with a smile.

- "I only did what's expected from me, just like you, Manpei-kun. That's why we're here. Everybody fullfilling his own task."

- "But… Kuramochi-chan is…" The man twisted the edge of his apron. "Kuramochi-chan is a hero, compared to us all."

- "Kuramochi is no more hero than you" said Tani-sensei, looking at him in the eyes. "Every man present in this station is a commoner who chose to be a hero. Kuramochi-kun, you, me, Samejima-san, Hoshino-san, Inuzuka… Any of us can aspire as such title, and none will do it. We are not here so that honors go to us, but to serve our country. To build the dream of the children of the future."

In the corridor, the men who had followed him, still wet from the cleaning, stopped to nod, confused.

_Definition of a hero: a common person whom, at extraordinary times, stays faithful to his promises._

From time to time, the thought crossed their brain. _How would the return be like? What would people tell them? What would change?_

Then, they shook their chins, amused. _Them, heroes? No, simple Japanese citizens, just like everybody else._

That was the example Kuramochi had given them.

They did not know yet the world does not thank heroes, that it often forgets them, and that, sometimes, it turns against them.


	11. Bonds

What broke out suddenly in the corridors seemed to be an earthquake. The ice had gotten loose under the station, or maybe a company of soldiers hurled itself out of nowwhere into the building.

Himuro moved his leg against the pillar of the table and grabbed his crutches. Yokomine looked around him, looking like a mouse, once again. Arashiyama spat out drops of his water, as if the storm which arrived had a direct influence on the drink. Funaki let go of his spoon which rang against the mess tin before diving towards the ground.

- "_Hola, hola hola!_" Roared out Samejima's voice. "Wait for me, you guys!"

Legs crossed under the heating table, his hands around a smoking cup of tea, Kuramochi began smiling so big the room seemed to brighten.

- "Kuma! Wait! Riki, Taro, no - easy, guys!" Shouted Inuzuka, completely overwhelmed.

The dogs rushed into the common room, noisy, enormous, excited.

In less than a second, they were all gathered around Kuramochi, washing his the face, rubbing theirs heads against him, moaning and barking, stepping on feet, tables, plates.

The young man embraced them one after another, patted and kissed them, speaking in a low voice, seizing their hair by handfuls as he was used to, in a poke full of tenderness.

Riki had flattened on his knees, truffle against the pullover of his master, and cared little to be crushed by Taro and Jiro. Both brothers groaned, clumsy and intrusive, knocking down glasses, other dogs, Inuzuka who tried to push them aside a little.

- "Hola, guys, don't be so brutal! Kuma, no! Anko… _ala_, Goro!"

The men laughed as they see Kuramochi's hair disapearing in that wave of bronze furs.

- "We'll have to fish him out!"

- "Keep up the good work, Inuzuka!"

- "Keep swimming!"

Utsumi got away from the cupboard against which he was rested and approached, hilarious.

- "Kuramochi! Are you still beneath that?"

- "Boss! Call "time out" when you want us to help Inuzuka!" shouted Samejima from the bench on which he had climbed.

Himuro tilted his head, disapproving, already knocked down too many times to his taste. He had settled down in the common roomn, claiming he more felt at ease there to work, but hoping secretly to spend some time with Kuramochi,since he had not been able to help like the others, because of his crutches. But the canine invasion displeased him strongly.

He had finally accepted the dogs, of course, but there was a line between the quiet and affectionate presence of Shiro and the infernal chaos brought by Jiro and co.

As to confirm, Taro took advantage of the fact Samejima had just gone down his bench to spray his boots, while Pochi had a bite of Funaki's dessert, apparently delighted.

- "Guys" implored Inuzuka who, after unsuccessfully pulling at Kuma's necklace, had just found himself seated on the ground.

Kuramochi began laughing.

- "Dogs!" He called up, getting up, leaning a hand against the wall. "To the sled! Hup! Let's go!"

The pack stopped in attention, squeaking with satisfaction. Riki raised his ears, then began barking. Kuma released a sound wouff and went out of the room like a bulldozer, immediately imitated by the rest of dogs, pursued by Inuzuka who squealed and still was not managing to be obeyed.

In a few seconds, the room was emptied, at the exception of Riki who had seized the edge of Kuramochi's pullover was dragging him towards the door.

Utsumi caught up with them and passed his arm around the young man's waist, catching him as he was overtaken by dizziness before the three others who had rushed.

- "Hola! Not so fast! Riki. Slowly. Your master isn't ready yet."

The brown and round eyes of the dog settled with intelligence on both humans. He released the pullover and put his tail between his legs, pulling down his ears.

Samejima knelt down and patted him.

- "Good dog, Riki. You've done nothing wrong."

Kuramochi squatted with some difficulties and embraced the dog.

- "It's okay, Riki. Be patient… I'll be back soon."

Utsumi smiled, a hand on his friend's shoulder. From the table, Himuro creaked his teeth.

- "Tch" he broke in. "You won't lead the sled before long."

Kuramochi began to get up, but the pain which fused in his chest took his breath away. He managed to sit on the ground, trying hard to mask his discomfort. Riki uttered a small throat noise, sliding his truffle near his master's cheek.

- "Himuro. The dogs need encouragement. I do too. We need to believe we're going to make it - soon, certainly. Otherwise, we won't be able to hold on to the end."

- "The boss's right, Mr. Representative of the Government" added Samejima. "There's no use thinking about what could go wrong. It's better to focus on what will get better! Isn't it what we told the kids?

- "Well said, Samejima-san" approved Utsumi, bending and lifting the young man rather than helping him to get up. " Himuro. It's good you're worried about Kuramochi, but don't bring down the troops' spirit."

- "Easy for you to say, senpai, but you're not the one to suffer" mumbled Himuro, a hand wrinkled on the bandages wrapping his leg.

Utsumi took this very serious and very straight expression which they did not often see on his face.

- "Those who wait for us in Japan suffer. Those who are getting ready to come get us suffer. Those who didn't get choosen to go to Antarctica suffer. Those who weren't hurt during last exploration suffer. Anxiety about not knowing, fear in front of the stranger, jealousy, guilt, frustration because we couldn't protect our fellows. Everybody suffers, Himuro. What changes is the way we confront with it, our heads up."

The others agreed silently. Kuramochi dragged himself up to the bench, supported by Samejima, and sat down next to his eternal rival.

- "Himuro, you're a precious member of the family" he said, friendly in a panting voice he was trying to settle. "We share burdens with others. Let us share yours too."

Riki put his paws on the bench and swept the man's face man with his tongue.

Himuro pouted, but they could well see he had been touched.

Arashiyama, Yokomine, Funaki, Utsumi and Samejima smiled, softened, and Kuramochi, who rubbed absently his pullover, gave a friendly pat on his friend's shoulder.

- "Well said, Kuramochi-han" intervened Hoshino with cheerfulness, entering at this moment. " That's the spirit of the first Expedition Cross-Winter! Can anybody go help Inuzuka-han? I'm afraid the dogs will manage to attach him to one of their sticks before the end of the day. "

Samejima clapped his hands, shaking his head and left the room immediately, his big voice trembling with laughter in the corridor while he went away.

- "Himuro-han, Yokomine-han" said Hoshino, turning to them successively. "I need you. It's time to send the report to the government. Arashiyama-han, thank you again for my window. I really see the difference since you repaired it this morning.

- "Funaki-san helped me" said the guide, embarrassed.

Hoshino began laughing.

- "Ah, it's good to be proud of your work! Isn't it, Kuramo …

He stopped, frightened.

Himuro felt Kuramochi's head dwelling on his shoulder, then sliding, and he only had the time to catch him before he fell off the bench.


	12. All over again

Kuramochi moved his chin forward to see what the doctor examined on his side, but the movement cost him a suppressed groan.

Tani-sensei flashed him a tanuki smile, still bent on the purplish skin of Kuramochi's ribs.

- "It's really not possible for you to stay steady a minute, isn't it?

- "Sorry…" muttered Kuramochi like a child. " Doc, it's no big deal, I told you. A little diziness, that's it. Let me go back with the others."

The old man stood up. He wiped his glasses on the edge of his white coat then put them back on his nose.

- "No way – not today, at least."

He thought a moment. The bruise had begun to change color, becoming a little yellowish. Whatever was happening inside his patient, it was on the right track to get cured, if only…

- "I'm cold" said Kuramochi who had enough holding up his black pullover. He coughed a little, as to prove it.

- "You don't have to play naughty" scolded the doctor, crossing arms. "Listen to me, please. It's already a miracle you're still alive. Your body managed to fight what was wrong and it's doing its best to put you back on feet. I won't let you waste all this work just because you don't want to wait a little!"

Kuramochi nibbled his lips.

- "I can't keep having the others bear with my carelessness" he said in a low voice.

- "Carelessness?" Repeated Tani-sensei, annoyed. "You saved your companions, did more for this station than all of us together and everybody here knows it! Don't make me laugh." He cleared his throat. "Kuramochi-san. The pain is there to serve as warning signal. If you continue to ignore it, you'll only manage to return to the starting point! If you want to make yourself useful, you have to rest and listen to me."

- "All right" said finally the young man, after a long moment of silence where he had obviously held on responding. "I understand."

The doctor relaxed and put his hand on Kuramochi's shoulder.

- "Good" he said, smiling. That's what I wanted to hear. As for the common room, not this evening. I want you to sleep, and to think of nothing else than getting back your strength. Tomorrow, I'll see if you can work with Hoshino-san, for example. Or Himuro-san, or Yokomine-san. Something that doesn't make you walk. One step at a time, right?"

Kuramochi smiled with contrition.

- "One step at a time" he repeated. "Even half a step is enough."

In the corridor, Inuzuka allowed himself to sink against the wall, under the relieved look of Utsumi and the hermetic expression of Himuro.

Sometimes, even a hero needed to be scolded and corrected.

* * *

Utsumi banged his boots against the step, then rolled the opening systeme of the door. Once inside, he leaned the tripod against the wall, removed his mittens and pulled down his hood.

His eyebrows and his beard were covered with a fine film of snow. He brushed them with the backhand of his wrist, collected the device and hurried in the direction of his room, where he suspended his parka on the round hanger next to his desk.

His eyes met the elegante writing of Yokomine's twins names on the opposite wall and he smiled. He shared his room with the radio. He tidied up his notes, looked for his pencil which had slid in the lining of his trousers, then went to the common room.

He understood well before entering that the discussion was stormy.

- "I disagree!" Samejima had just exclaimed, hurling a punch on the table, making jump flatware and glasses which were already set in anticipation of the supper.

- "_Ongul Island_ may not be on the continent, but it's part of our territory and it welcomed us! added Arashiyama, pointing at the map displayed between them.

- "We can't install a lookout on the island, that's not what the government asked us to do!" hissed Himuro who stood in spite of his leg still wrapped in bandages.

- "But we weren't supposed to spend winter over either" intervened Hoshino in a calming voice. "If we ask your superiors, maybe they'll be okay. I for my part think that's a good idea. Shirasaki-han would approve."

- "We don't have half of the necessary equipment! How do you plan to create it? Are you gonna build an igloo?"

Hoshino did not have time to answer that it actually appeared to be an interesting option, first because barks echoed outside and then because everybody ran to the windows.

- "Here they are!" said Utsumi.

- "I can't see… who leads the sled?" Asked Samejima, his nose crushed against the glass.

Arashiyama blew to defrost the window.

- "Inuzuka's leading" said suddenly Himuro. "Kuramochi's sitting".

There was a moment of heavy apprehensive silence. It was the first time Kuramochi resumed to his activities since the accident.

- "Ah!" Samejima exclaimed abruptly. "I get it! One of the dogs is injured, that's why! Who wants to bet it's Anko?"

The tension fell and their laughter resounded nervously.

- "Inuzuka-han still can't manage to keep them still with him on the sled" commented Hoshino indulgently.

Outside, Kuramochi was realeasing the dogs and returning them to the lines. The one who was hurt limped behind him, hanging out his tongue.

- "It's Goro" announced Arashiyama. "Poor old fellow! For once, it's not Anko that ran out of luck. Give back the money, Samejima-san!"

- "What money?" Asked the man with innocence.

There was more laughter. In front of the building, Inuzuka ran after Pesu who seemed to enjoy it thoroughly. Kuramochi spat in the snow, then whistled. Instantly, the dog joined the line and closed his eyes of pleasure, scratched behind the ears by his leader.

Funaki came to them, his toolbox in hand, dressed in blue parka like the two other men. He stopped to pat the dogs, avoiding with caution Fuuren Kuma who gave him a disdainful look and layed down in the snow, enormous mass of black hair on white wallpaper.

- "How was the exploration?" Asked the sailor.

- "Very good", answered Kuramochi. He removed his hat, wiped his sweaty forehead. "The dogs are in good shape. We were able to make the tour Hoshino-san asked for and we got new samples."

- "Kuramochi-san found one of these rocks which disturb compasses!" Added Inuzuka with excitement.

- "Everything fine at the station?"

Funaki's shoulders raised and fell.

- "Samejima-san has decided to build an outpost at _Ongul Island_, since it's the only access road to the continent, but that doesn't please everybody.

Kuramochi smiled, amused.

- "Himuro, isn't it?"

- "Yep" agreed Funaki with a grin. "What happened to this one?"

Inuzuka approached, with Goro in arms. Kuramochi patted thoughtfully the snout of the sheepish dog.

- "It was very rocky, unusual. I think he sprained himself a toe or something like that. He couldn't put down his paw, eh, chap? Poor fellow… Tani-sensei will probably tell us more."

- "Let's go back inside, Kuramochi-san" said Inusuka.

The young man nodded.

- "I still have some sheet steels to check before supper" said Funaki, indicating the tool box. "I'll catch up later. Yamazato-san prepared some sort of a soup that would tempt you to sell your mother!"

Kuramochi began laughing, then followed the boy inside. Funaki gave a last friendly pat to Pochi. He did two steps in the direction of the wharehouse and stopped.

He knelt down and examined, intrigued, what his eye had caught in the heap of snow accumulated against the building.

Ice chips had already solidified and just a few more snow flakes would be enough to gobble up the pearl which coloured them with red.

But, at the moment, you could see very well what it was.

Blood.


	13. Bad Weather Broadcast

There was an other broadcast from their families in Japan.

Arashiyama's old ma went on about homemade honey and tourists and montain flowers. Utsumi's boss tried to hide his emotion behind rough words of advice and threats. Hoshino's wife almost gave a lecture to her husband, so dignified and serious the whole crew stood to listen to her with respect. They even heard the babies giggling as Kenta was making faces to them. Funaki's younger brother said proudly he had apply to sail off to the Southern seas and Funaki couldn't hold happy grumbling comments.

After that, there was a long pause and they thought it was over, until they heard Shirasaki-san whispering "Miyuki-chan..."

Then they realised the soft sound had been quiet sobbing.

- "Who..." started Samejima whose loud voice was quickly suppressed by Utsumi's hand.

- "They told us... you're..."

A little cry, strangled, unstoppable.

- "I'm sorry, Kuramochi-kun..." said Shirasaki-san's voice, truly sorry, from the other side of the world. "We received that message, and... well, I'm glad you're okay, now. I... "

They couldn't hear what was happening but then the fragile and young voice came back on air, trying hard to be courageous, swallowing tears in a pathetic effort to smile.

- "Please... come home... safely... please... please..."

They could hear it.

The pleading smile coarsing the words.

Then the sound became only electronical humming. A far away blizzard roaring on the radio waves.

The men stared at the radio in silence, not daring to look at Kuramochi. Strangely, Inuzuka was the first one to move. He tapped on Yokomine's shoulder and, one by one, they left the room.

Himuro was the last.

He closed the door behind him, slowly, holding the flap to make sure it wouldn't knock loudly against the door frame.

It was so different from last time.

He remembered acutely the jealousy and sadness gripping on his chest when they were listening to the first broadcast. But somehow, this wasn't the same.

He wondered if it had anything to do with forgiveness.

He lowered his eyelids for a few seconds and then smiled to himself, to the corner of his heart where shined Yukari, just like a candle in the darkness.

No, he wasn't bitter anymore.

The smile became a grin, and Himuro found himself looking through the window with his heart perfectly at ease, like it hadn't been since the accident, ten years before.

_Do you know what, Yukari? I think I'm actually happy for him – for them..._

The thought was so unusual it made him shake his head with a weird giggle for the rest of the day.

_Beats you, heh? You didn't realise the girl loved you, isn't it? Serves you right, Kuramochi..._

_Start thinking about yourself before trying to save the rest of the world._

_Before thinking about me._

And for the first time as well, the thought Kuramochi had never given up on him left a sweet but sad back-taste in his mouth.

* * *

Hoshino-san came back with a blanket, expecting to find his second in command half asleep on the radio table, but Kuramochi was now standing by the window.

- "Good evening..." said the leader, after putting the blanket away, coming closer quietly, holding his hands behind his back like usual.

- "Oh. 'Evening, Hoshino-san", chilled Kuramochi, like if he was awakening from a long dream. "It's already this late..."

- "Hum", nodded the older man with a smile. "Isn't the sunset beautiful? It's always strucking me how Antarctica can be so colourful yet when everything's only white around here."

Kuramochi cleared his throat.

- "There's no sunset", he remarked.

- "Ah. Really?" deadpanned Hoshino, looking at the pitch black view. He chuckled at his second's puzzled face. "There's one. In my head, I can see it. I know it's a magnifiscent sight. You've been watching more than snow and ice through this window, today, haven't you, Kuramochi-han?"

The young man had this cheerful snort they knew so well and his eyes brightened.

- "Yeah", he admitted.

Hoshino flashed his biggest smile.

* * *

Miyuki sat on the bench where she had found him on that famous day the kids started to offer their allowances for the expedition funds.

The sun underlined the trees and their falling leaves in a large scale of fire-like colors. From a bright orange to a dark reddish brown, the street seemed turned into a fox's tail.

She put her umbrella aside, huffing.

It wasn't going to rain, all right.

They kept saying "you'll be drenched by the time you get home" but the high champagne sky was telling her the opposite. Some light pink clouds, a few fugitive birds. Chattering and happy far away laughters...

But she was alone on this bench and her heart was cold and quivering.

They said he was okay.

They said he was back on tracks, leading the dogs, leading the men, being himself.

They said there was no need to worry.

The other women had said the same.

_He's the stronger one, my dumb husband, him, would..._

_He's the coolest one, isn't it? Aren't you proud?_

_Don't feel so low, he'd never let them down!_

_My husband said..._

She envied the way they talked. She couldn't say "my". She always introduced her self as "Kuramochi's sister".

She used to think she was okay to be "his", even in this way.

But the anxiety and the fear overwhelming her when she had received the message awoke a fierceness she didn't know about.

How can you protect someone who's not _yours_?

She wanted to shield him, to fight back to back, to die for him if needed.

She didn't expect anger.

She thought she was going to crumble and cry, cry, cry.

But inside her, something turned icy and stiff.

Until they told her he survived and was getting better by the day, now.

_- "Please... come home... safely... please... please..."_

Churning on her words, wadding with her sentences, bubbling out her plea like an animal.

Probably they thought she was just a crybaby.

Kuramochi never said such a thing, but from time to time, he'd look at her shaking his head with the side smile he got when he was remembering something good.

He was still seeing the child in her.

The cute little girl who was holding her sister's immaculate kimono and whose face disappeard completely in the complicated wedding head garnement.

Would he ever be able to see she was a woman, now?

Had he...

_Once._

She treasured the memory of that day.

They went to the graveyard. It was so cold, raining quietly, and soon the drops turned into snowflakes. She was frozen to the bones but he, of course, didn't seem to mind the wheather.

He was talking to his wife, to her, to himself, maybe. Sorting out his mind as he rested his spirit against the stone, facing his past...

_Was he facing his future as well?_

He suddenly noticed she was shivering, put his coat on her shoulders and took her to a soba shop nearby.

They spent an hour – _or was it two?_ – chatting and laughing like if they were alone in the world.

He giggled and tried to get her to eat more of the horrible side dish they ordered by mistake. She poured drinks for him, drew with the sauce, on the table, the wrong character one of her students did that day. She was a bit tipsy when they came out, even though she didn't have alcohol.

He kept teasing her and held her arm, until they were in front of her dormitory. Then he put his hands in his pockets, rocked a little on his feet and left with a last smile, his hand waving above his hair sparkled with melted snow.

And as she watched his back, she realised she was still wearing his coat.

It was the only date they ever had.

She wrote in her diary the strange thing he said in front of the grave, just before the snow started to fall.

- "Yukari-san... Miyuki-chan isn't like you. She doesn't pout and she doesn't have your ridicule laughter. She cooks better than you, too. She isn't bold like you, but she doesn't have your silliness. People kept looking at you, coming like if they were drawned to a warm and sunny storm of cherry petals. Then you never knew when to tell them to go... I... that day... Yukari-san, you've got a good sister. She knows how to take care of herself. It's a relief, y'know. I could never leave you alone... "

His eyes were set on the grave, shining with tears that never flood out. He sighed, smiled in this soft way they both loved so much.

- "Miyuki-chan's like the snow, you see. People find it beautiful and pure, and yet they get so quickly acustm to its presence. They step on it and don't protect it, but it still comes down from heaven, in silence, embracing all things in the world. It seems to be so simple, but when you look closely, a snow flake is enclosing so much preciousness and complexity. It's gone fast, but the memory remains for ever. You really aren't the same, you sisters."

She couldn't quite decide what he meant.

She wondered if he thought about that day, from time to time, when the wheather wasn't so good in Antarctica.

But never once did it cross her mind he had left for a country where snow never stopped falling.


End file.
